Thousand Dollar Supercar

That part is actually proving more difficult and expensive than I anticipated. I've attempted to come up with a formula to calculate the number of Alfa Romeos a normal full-time employed person can maintain simultaneously, but cosmic alignments are difficult to incorporate. I can tell you the answer seems to be approximately two. Last night I found the grey car's radiator reservoir had mysteriously emptied and that some of the smallest cooling system hoses were blocked with rust.

The black car has had the windscreen rust repaired, a new windscreen fitted, the perishing rear brake hoses replaced, and I think I've finally found the loose connection in the speedo. Solution is to chop off every s**t quality Italian plug you find so you've eliminated them as potential suspects. Re-crimp new connectors on yourself - trust nothing. I still haven't got a new set of tyres (last remaining WOF issue), but I'm feeling a bit poor now so I think I'll have to stick with standard mags again this tyre change. My flatmate has put in an offer on an Alfa 33. If he gets it, we'll be one step closer to Killroy's Morris Marina museum..

My grey car has a dodgy front suspension strut, and nobody was wrecking any 33s so I ordered some brand new struts. I fitted them to my black car in the weekend - the old struts from here will go into the grey car. The replacement in the black car only took me all day. While I had each strut apart I opened the strut pan bearings (the first time unintentionally, and I didn't quite manage to find every one of the ball bearings that fell out) and cleaned and regreased them. These bearings sit under the lower spring seat to allow the lower part of the strut to turn with the steering, and basically they get dirt in them and start to stick. Picture of the two halves of an open bearing prior to reassembly: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/strut_bearing.jpg When I eventually wrestled the whole mess back together (in a hurry to get the spring compressors back to Hirepool by 5pm) and took the car for a drive, its handling was noticeably different. Differences: Steering feels lighter Feedback through steering wheel is more noticeable Steering almost seems to want to turn slightly off centre in either direction, rather than return to dead centre as you'd expect. Possible explanations: Regreased strut pan bearings now turn more freely New struts are Monroe not Alfa and may not be dimensionally identical to the originals - study the arms on each strut in this picture: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/new_and_old.jpg Car might need a wheel alignment Also, I might have put something back together wrong! And now what do I find? Someone is now wrecking a 33 and I could have just grabbed a strut from them to use in my grey car. I'm also slightly suspicious of one of the new struts - it seemed to have much less compression damping, as if maybe the oil inside hadn't sorted itself into the right areas. I should have spent more time comparing everything before reassembling.

"Get that bloody thing out of here! The fumes!" That's what I heard VTNZ Pit Inspection Man say about my grey car. It did not put him in a happy mood. Between a fresh degreasing effort, open crankcase ventilation system and a motor that's really badly in need of a tune, my car was doing its best to gas him to death. And that was after their testing of grey car's lights had sucked the tiny bit of life out of its half-dead battery, stranding the car in the middle of the inspection lane and requiring a jump-start! I also heard Pit Inspection Man grumbling about getting the owner in to push the car out. But after I spent over twice the car's purchase price having basically half the brake system rebuilt (oh the crimes of dodginess that have been committed against that car!), there was nothing VTNZ could do but pass me. WOF, wohoo! They tried to put an end to my Alfa - it took them about twice as long to check it compared to the cars in the next lane, and they checked everything. My Alfa even tried to put an end to itself - on the way to the testing station my new indicator revealed itself to have a loose connection, so I popped the bonnet infront of VTNZ's offices and convinced it to work! But I now have a road-legal car. Just one, mind, because a different garage failed my black car on a bunch of stuff, including rust around the windscreen, worn tires and a speedo that picked that day to pretend not to work.

I love Starions too. This one rocks cos not only does it have a digital dash (always wanted one of those!), it doesn't have the weird burgundy interior.

Oops. Put the headlight in the oven, fan bake, 140 degrees for 3 minutes and a localised hot spot took out the corner of the indicator lens and the piece of trim under the headlight. http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/grey_ti/melted.jpg Incidentally the lens separated from the headlight body just fine, not that that does me much good now. Let this be a lesson to you - when baking headlights take your time, undo the rusty screws holding intact plastic pieces to the main assembly and go easy on the heat!

From "Lemon: 60 Heroic Failures of Motoring": "The suspension was shocking in a literal sense. This not only gave the occupants a jarring time, it hurried along all those badly attached parts that were already thinking of leaving. There was a choice of two body styles (sedan and coupe), while engine options included a 1500 'four' and two 1750s. A Leyland sales blurb described these engines as 'Fast', 'Faster' and 'Good morning Officer'. In reality, the performance suggested the Marina had a few too many boats moored to it. A solution, from late 1973, was to squeeze the P76's six under the bonnet. Mimicking the trend established by Holden with its six-cylinder Torana, this transformed the Marina from an underpowered pig to an understeering pig." Guess what other cars owned on this forum also feature in this book? Jaguar XJS, Datsun 120Y and.. um.. Alfa Romeo 33.

The two rear light clusters are different designs from eachother, even though they look the same from outside the car. Now that's Italian. Found one bulb wasn't going cos the bit of spring steel from the socket was missing - why bother putting a bulb in? I bodged it with a ballpoint pen spring. Spent an hour or two on the rear light clusters, and after I buy 3 new bulbs no WOF inspector or Alfa Romeo Control will be able to complain. But I still have to deal with the loose headlight reflector. Upon inspection, I found it was propped up by little wedges of wood inserted into the headlight. Got the headlight out, don't know how to open it. Probably glued.

Been busy on the new old 33. Fixed: Handbrake adjusted. Found a weta living in one of the brake drums... I thought this adjustment would solve all the brake problems but that would have been too easy. Tightened self-loosening bolts on sump and gearbox. Car's looking about as tidy as it's gonna get now, just the back bumper to do and the carpets to un-stain. Dodgy creaking shock 'fixed' with WD40. Must have just got some dirt in it cos the protective boot's disintegrated. New problems found: Decayed vacuum lines in engine bay have just fallen off. There's still excessive brake pedal travel despite my rear brake shoe adjustment. Still haven't found where the brake fluid is slowly escaping either. Needs new outer CV boots. Really should have at least new brake pads on at least one side. One headlight reflector is loose messing up the headlight aim. For some reason three of the wheel bolts on one wheel have munched threads, and it looks like the wheel hasn't been fitting properly. Sockets in the hub are damaged too; each bolt only fits back into one hole. Dodgy. Alfa Romeo Control is angry again over some more blown bulbs. But I took some photos! Most experts agree - a conservative-looking grey hatchback from 20 years ago. Interior: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/grey_ti/cemtary8.jpg http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/grey_ti/cemtary9.jpg Sitting in the driveway: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/grey_ti/MNTBATNS.JPG Trying to make the car look better than the cheap old heap it is: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/grey_ti/cemtary7.jpg

I'm losing my battle with the Alfa virus. I just bought another 33 - a grey 1988 1.5TI, for less than the price of the above exhaust upgrade. I can't call it the hundred dollar supercar though because it's not very super just now. It has no rego or WOF. There's issues with the rear brakes and one of the front shocks, although I haven't investigated yet. It also came supplied with underinflated tires to further reduce control. But it does have a control so pointless, so unreliable and yet so awesome it could go by only one name: Alfa Romeo Control. It has many little lights to tell you all the things that may or may not be wrong with your Alfa Romeo, and on the left a big green light (for if everything's cool) or big red light (for if you're in trouble). Trouble is that the big red light appears to be broken. Other bonuses on this car include the pancake air filters, and lack of problems like worn tires or significant un-bodged rust. Haven't had time to take pictures of the car yet, still cleaning it. It's messy. http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/grey_ti/MESS1.JPG Work done so far: Replaced broken window Cleaned birdpoo and Pohutukawa debris from outside Cleaned all kinds of mess from inside but only found 40c Swapped front seats over Fixed, jumpered or topped up stuff until Alfa Control shows no problems New problems found: Drivers electric window jams Drivers door is cracked where the door catch bolts on so door doesn't really close. I think this just happened. Car needs a tune - once warm it idles at 2000rpm and backfires! Plans for this car: Finish cleaning it so it doesn't look dodgy. Take off any bits I like. Try to get it a WOF, then pay up the registration. Use it as practice for the work I'll be doing on my main car, by changing its timing belts before they break (fingers currently crossed). Use it as transportation while my main car's off the road. Sell it for more than I paid, possibly to flatmates who all currently need new cars..

An even $400 including GST (their EFTPOS machine was broken so they rounded the price and I paid cash). Not that I shopped around for quotes etc, I'm too lazy for that.. Website: http://www.alsmufflers.co.nz/

I asked the Shore Performance guy if he could explain how the torque figure on the dyno printout related to the torque output of the engine (cos I don't think my engine makes 218Nm!) and he couldn't tell me. He said noone ever asks that question! He also told me 60kW was 90hp atw, 120 at the engine so I thought the car was doing well until I went home and checked the numbers! Maybe he wanted me to feel better. I know Murray from Webber Specialties - he reconditioned my carbs and gave a talk at an Alfa club evening once. I didn't realise he had a dyno though, maybe he should be the one to retune the carbs after this project's over.

Progress report: I've now got a proper exhaust system instead of just a rear muffler. The original 1988 exhaust had developed cracks at the two sharpest bends and I could feel gas escaping from these when the car was just idling. The perfect excuse for an upgrade! The work was done at Al's Mufflers, one of the shops recommended by users of this forum in our whitebook thread. Al (I think it was Al) replaced the final 2->1 junction of the headers (the design of which he didn't like) and the rest of the factory system back to my existing Pitstop super sports special rear muffler. Centre muffler is now a resonator, pipe diameter is increased to 2.25" and I've got a join I can unbolt to remove the headers for engine work. It all looks slick and smooth, sounds still relatively quiet at idle and on the motorway but definitely louder at big throttle openings at low/moderate rpm (for booting about town with the windows down). Drowns out other unhealthy noises from the car with an exhaust note that's an improvement on your average Honda inline 4 drone. I don't know whether I should bother with the expense of dynoing just the exhaust or wait until stage 2's complete and I'm ready for a full tune.

Does anything happen when you disobey it (park with the handbrake off and the switch on, the car in neutral and the keys out)? Maybe it does something subtle like lock the steering, lock the transmission in Park etc. Pretty random switch, and the label doesn't actually describe its function just when to use it.. Maybe it just brings good fortune.

Just skimmed through your thread. I used to do Japanese, but never enough to know more than one or two of the complicated characters. I can only make out the rest of the mystery switch label! But I subjected myself to deciphering hell just for you. "chuusha toki handobureeki o (benyoo?) shinai baai wa, migigawa no suicchi o OFF ni shite kudasai" I think it means: When parking in places where the handbrake is not used, please turn the switch on the right hand side to 'OFF'. Maybe it disables the handbrake warning alarm so the car won't hassle you and drain the battery. Anyhow. It relates to the handbrake.

On an Alfa forum I've heard of a rebuilt standard 1.7 with a different exhaust (kit car Porsche replica) getting 97hp atw. So even allowing for variances between dynos and today's warm temperatures, mine might be down a bit. I should be clearing that up though. To start with, an exhaust guy has recommended replacing my leaking standard system from the rear 2->1 junction of the standard headers (which meets poorly at too much of an angle) back to my Pitstop rear muffler. He also said he'd use 2.25" pipe. That's booked for Thursday. After that is doing the heads using some of the parts I got off you - if I'm losing any power because of reduced valve lift then the head swap should fix that. These pictures are from parts left over from my original engine: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/CAMLOBE2.JPG http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/LIFTER.JPG

I took my car on a 'before' dyno run today. Peak power was a mighty 60kW at the wheels, using the standard airbox not the noisy trumpets I often run at the track. I suspect the trumpets would give less power - their length has not been matched to the engine and they draw hot air. 60kW is 80.5hp at the wheels. Somebody told me to expect 19.5% drivetrain losses on a 33, which means my engine's making about 100hp out of its quoted 118. The dyno run was done up to 6000rpm, and peak power occurred from 5500 to 6000. So anyone who wondered how this crate managed to keep up with them on the track - continue to wonder! Before the shop (Shore Performance) did my car they were dynoing an EX Lancer with a boosted Lexus V8 running something like 14psi. The dyno operator said he didn't know how that kind of stuff was legal.

I cleaned up and painted two cambox covers from the engine parts Snoozin dug up for me: These covers are to allow valve clearance adjustment, so they don't go on the hydraulic lifter heads fitted to my model 33 from the factory. The plan is to eventually remedy that problem..

Three years old. I have the receipt.

I already have that via a centrifugal rev limiter on the distributor rotor. I'm all about technology! Sticker on the rotor says 6800rpm but I'm afraid to test it. I've considered setting up a shift light off that digital tacho but with the carb trumpets I can easily hear when to change gear! That gravel road was a trap, starting halfway along a road between SH1 and 90 Mile Beach. It wasn't maintained by the council and was barely suitable for cars or CD players. =| Quite a coincidence! Why doesn't my other engine bay rubber die that fast, and why do Gull's pamphlets state Alfa Romeos shouldn't use their E10 petrol? One of the guys who attends the Alfa club evenings works for a European car importer and he has seen some impressive dissolving by weaker ethanol blended petrols than Gull's. It's 98 octane. Gull reckon it should give at best the same power as normal 98 octane petrol cos of Ethanol's higher oxygen content but lower energy yield. Or something. My car ran fine on the fuel, apart from this coincidence. http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/FUELHSE1.JPG Gull are the only company offering anything but conventional petrol. Here's a link: http://www.gull.co.nz/html/force10/welcome.htm Will do. The repco hoses (marked as not for fuel injection) are thicker rubber reinforced with something and they don't have an outer fabric covering, so it'll be easy to see when they're perishing. Stay tuned for the next developments in my car project thread, scheduled for once businesses open in the new year!

Just prior to the last track day in November, I accidentally filled my car up with Gull's 'Force 10' poison petrol, with 10% corrosive bio-ethanol. I knew not to do that, but I wasn't thinking until it was too late. The guy at the counter reckoned one tankfull wouldn't hurt. A couple of weeks later I'm smelling petrol through the cabin air vents when the car's sitting at traffic lights. I looked for the leak on a few different occasions but didn't find it - the petrol would evaporate unless the engine was running (duh!) Turns out all my 3-year-old fuel hose was completely stuffed: picture 1 picture 2 Underneath the hose clamps where the hose didn't touch the petrol (but was still exposed to the same amount of heat), the rubber was just fine. Everywhere else it's perished half to death. There were two leaks where the hose was stretched over fittings, luckily nothing caught on fire. I Replaced the perished hose with 3 metres of Repco stuff for $48. Feeling safer now. Edit: fishtailfred suggested the hose perished where it was exposed to air, and it was a coincidence it started leaking after the tank of E10 petrol. What is he, a lawyer for the petrol company?

That would be the case with most cars on this forum. If I had no plates on the Alfa then I got caught on camera during one of my regular bank heists, it wouldn't take the police long to visit the registered address of every black old shape Alfa 33 in Auckland. Find the one with driving lights, a sunroof and a zorst tip, and read the owner his rights. ("You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to a real car. If you cannot afford a real car, one will be provided to you by Instant Finance..")

Not really, but I've learnt about voltage drops, loose connections and bad earths: Voltage drop, thy name is Alfa Romeo! Questions like "Why are the headlights dim?", "Why are the wipers so slow?" and "Why does the clock backlighting dim in time with the indicators?" can always be partially explained with a multimeter. So tell us about your hinged numberplate. Is it motorised?

Three point five psi? Your mama blows harder than that! 200W reversing lights though, that's kickass. Is that why you need such chunky battery cable, or did you install a 50hp starter motor for getting you home if you blow the engine?

Apparently OSH regulations mean they have to make the karts slower if they have a two-level track. As if the karts at other places aren't slow enough anyway!