Thousand Dollar Supercar

Looks like that car has the common problem of being British the windscreen wipers not parking, which I need to fix on my car at some point. According to the XJ-S Barry Bible, by the time my car was made, both types of Lucas motor had been abandoned in favour of Electrolux. The wiper switch was still Lucas though, and because my wipers park in intermittent mode only, the switch is to blame. Barry Bible saves so much time. Thanks Barry! I wish my rear brake parts would hurry up and arrive from the UK so I don't feel bad about driving my Jag too much.

The TAB in Penrose closes around this time. Wednesday being payday, as a Jaguar owner this is when I stop in Ellerslie to spend my winnings flirting outrageously with the women at whichever eateries don't have my picture up behind the counter.

Next was to fix the soundz. I had my aging oonst oonst gear left over from my Rover stashed away and ready to go. I ripped out the Jag's existing head unit and got the door cards off. Check out the little rain hats on the factory speakers: Also notice how they're just mounted directly to the disintegrating door card. I'm not impressed. Here are the old and new speakers: They look about the same size but just like the Jag's imperial bolt sizes, the speaker hole spacing is just a little bit off. If you want to retain the original speaker grilles, you're in trouble because the new speakers have to sit on the bolts which are actually part of the grilles: I ended up slotting the mounting holes in the speakers even further and bending the mounting bolts. Then I had to cut the bolts down short cos they fouled the door metal once I'd splayed them outward. Because I was using component tweeters, I had to run extra wires between the door and the interior. I can report that the Jag is more thoroughly built than other cars I've owned, but no better designed. It was not easy to run these wires. Aaand when it was all back together, I discovered one of my tweeters was blown. Couldn't get identical replacements because obscure brand. Bought some Soundstream ones which are way too loud. I think there is a jumper on the crossover boxes to set the level of the tweeters, so I need to pull the door cards off again to check whether I can tone down the killer treble. Right now I can't be bothered. It's better than it was. Also, there's no room for my amplifier and subwoofer. The Jag's seats are so close to the floor that I don't even think a modern slim active sub would fit under there, so I'm living without a sub. =( While I was hunting around the car for spare space (there isn't any - every little cavity has mysterious relays just chilling in there already), I removed the false floor in the passenger footwell. A chill ran down my spine as I gazed upon the heart of Darkness: I quickly put the covers back, nailed them down and drove a stake into the floor. Next thing: Wheel balancing. Done. This car has actual Linglong brand tyres all round. =| Next: Grinding brake noises. I took it to a shop and they put it on their hoist..... This is one of the inboard rear brake discs. Both discs are similarly unhappy. I was directed to a Jaguar Barry, who says that if you buy cheap handbrake pads, the friction material detaches from the backing plates or the whole lot falls out of the calipers and that's probably why the discs are wrecked around the outer edges. My car is going to be booked in for new discs etc. Apparently the way to work on the rear brakes is by removing the rear seat and getting at them through an access panel in the floor! Next thing: The illumination of the '70s-tastic instrument cluster is so poor I can't really drive the car at night, and the minor gauges are all reading too low. "Experience In A Book - Help For The Jaguar XJ-S Owner" (henceforth referred to as The Barry Bible) told me this instrument cluster is some of the Prince of Darkness's finest work and I'll love it. Barry was right - look at how the electrical connections to the minor gauges are done: You get one-and-a-bit threads of screw gnawing into a copper PCB track and that's your connection. The head of this screw sits against the flexible plastic circuitry on the rear of the instrument cluster, so the screw is the current path. Also, the entire instrument cluster earths through just one pin of one plug, which is predictably prone to being rubbish. There are many reports of XJ-S gauges under-reading by a quarter just like mine were. I even found that someone in the past had removed the bulb from my alternator warning light...... Thankfully the illumination of the instruments is via conventional bulbs and not the weird fiber optic centralised system someone mentioned in the discussion thread. The main bulb for the speedo had just about gone black, so I replaced it with a higher wattage one to offset 30 years of voltage loss. Following the Barry Bible instructions, I put some solder on the minor gauge PCB pads where those screw tips bite, I cleaned every connection and I made up an additional earth for the cluster. Now I can actually make out the speedo at night (just), I've gained oil pressure and voltage and a little bit of engine temperature. The alternator light now works properly too. The Prince of Darkness' crappy electrics driving me to distraction and making me want to put a bullet in something meant that I simply HAD to buy this air freshener - "Driven Into Darkness": Fortunately it doesn't smell like Lucas smoke. I was hoping that cleaning all these instrument connections would make the engine temperature gauge read in the Normal range, but it still doesn't quite get there. A new temperature sender is a hundred bucks and fitting a new thermostat would require me to spill my new coolant everywhere. Grrr. Also, the boot smells like petrol so I pulled the spare tyre and all of the trim out. You can see the ninety-one litre fuel tank (which has already been replaced once), the fuel pump and the battery. The Barry Bible says the battery is supposed to have a special attachment to vent its gases outside of the car to stop them rusting everything. Also, Barry says condensation on the tank or rust around the rear window causes water to sit in the foam pad they cleverly mounted the tank on, rusting out the tank. The tank also leaks from stress on its overengineered and uncommon pipework fittings and basically any other excuse. This enables the XJ-S to guzzle petrol even when the engine's not running! The fix is to rip out the British and replace it with custom. Maybe some other time.

I've been slowly getting to know the Jaaag and to work through some of its issues. I started with easy stuff like blown bulbs and cleaning out the driving lights: Tried to improve the reversing light lenses with Brasso, but they're pretty cracked: Repainting the JAGUAR text so other motorists know how wealthy and stylish slightly caddish I am: Then I started to notice the car was losing its murky 7-year-old coolant. I might have panicked a little bit after my years of being punished by a straight six Rover SD1 with unfixable head gasket issues... However, it was just this bit of hose which was to blame: Jaguar apparently "designed" this part of the cooling system so that one fitting (the block) is larger than the other fitting (the vacuum-actuated heater valve). The previous owner had to replace the heater valve, stressing the hose where it was stretched over the larger fitting. Anyway, I obviously needed to drain and flush the cooling system. No radiator drain plug = remove the underbody aero(!), wrestle off the lower radiator hose and make a big mess. Then I had to look for the drain plug in the engine block. Underneath a shiny chrome exhaust heat shield are these crappy-looking log headers: See how the primary pipes for the front three and rear three cylinders run down next to eachother, giving good access to the side of the block both ahead of them and behind them? Guess where the drain plug is? It's behind the headers where you can't get a socket onto it. It also has the transmission cooler lines screwed onto it, but you can't get a screwdriver onto that screw. It's also a giant imperial size so you can't just go out and buy the right size spanner. This will learn me for buying a British car. I used a ratcheting ring spanner thing with a screwdriver bit to unscrew the bracket from the drain plug, then I bought the closest match of giant metric size spanner, which I had to operate from underneath the car. I flushed everything out and replaced that bit of hose, and now my British car doesn't drip a single fluid or have any warning lights on the dash. =)

I did not know that could be done. Gee, I wonder why they never suggested it to me when I took in the head from my old Rover 2600....

Don't these have what now? Christ on a bike.

Yyyeah, I thought everyone else was going slowly but it was just that the Prince of Darkness had infected my speedometer. I need to pull out the instrument cluster to see if the speedo can be calibrated, and to fix the illumination to make it visible at night. The reason you struggled to keep up is that you were in a diesel Mondeo. The back is one of its many super sweet angles IMO. Looks old fashioned cos it came out 43 years ago. =) I will investigate what's behind that passenger footwell footrest this weekend, because I need to find space to stash an amp. I actually didn't have to ignore anyone on oldschool in buying this car. Threeonthetree / Neal and BDA780 / Karl put up with me harrassing them about the decision for probably the past year or two. Not once did they try to convince me to consider a 2ZZ.

That was Nats 2014 at Marahau, and I'm pretty sure the gentleman in the passenger seat was this hard case party dude whose name I don't remember: It would be. I thought all TWR cars were basically body kits and suspension, still fitted with automatics and with their engines essentially stock. Fortunately, some total XJS Barry has written this site that suggests a 6L manual car could have been a possibility: https://classicregister.com/id-guides/how-identify-1984-1988-jaguar-xjs-twr-enhanced

Amazingly the air conditioning works, and so does the trip computer (10l/100km average on the trip home from Paeroa). Electric mirrors work but switches need more use. Heated seats are locked out unless it's below 15 degrees, so I have to wait and see if they still have their magic smoke. The extra shocks and springs apparently "...allows the use of smaller springs, taking up less space and protruding less into the luggage area.It also equalises the load transmitted to the front and rear of the crossbeam." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaguar_independent_rear_suspension It's also possible they just use two pairs on the back to give sheepers something to scoff at. Because you wouldn't live it for me by finishing your purple XJ-S! That thing was always my favourite out of your cars. I don't have the skill / equipment / finances to build a V12 manual, so I've settled for a nana model that hopefully won't prove to be too much of a basket case for me to keep on the road.

https://oldschool.co.nz/index.php?/topic/58670-thousand-dollar-supercars-1988-jaguar-xj-s-36/ "Awfully sorry, I ran over your dog..." "...in my Jaaaag!"

I'm back, ...and I've got a Jaaaag. "He's bought a grandfather clock!" 1988 Jaguar XJ-S 3.6L six cylinder auto - not a V12 big cat, more of a house cat: Such car, much pussy cat.. but why? I bought my poor Alfa 33 as a budget daily driver 14+ years ago. This time I was buying more of a weekend toy, so I decided I should get a midlife crisis an old man's car a hopeless British Leyland anachronism a coupe with at least 6 cylinders and maybe even some market value. I considered the Z31 300zx, C4 Corvette, third gen Firebird / Camaro, BMW 635CSi.. and then I realised none of those are in my buyers guide, "Lemon! 60 Heroic Failures of Motoring" by Tony Davis. Where's the fun in that? With the XJ-S, I'm on my third Heroic Failure car in a row! Also, why wouldn't you buy one of these. DOHC 24 valve, all alloy fuel-injected motor, independent rear suspension with inboard disc brakes and a limited slip diff. it's basically a high performance weapon. It's so awesome that it needs six shock absorbers and six coil springs. It's got luxury covered too - climate control air conditioning, heated seats, heated electric mirrors, leather, wood, chrome, and a trip computer to impress your stockbroker mates. All this for similar $$ (today) to an old Ford Escort. Best of all, because it's only a 2-door 2+2, it's so compact that it fits in my garage very well... I don't have any good photos yet, but it's a stock '88 hardtop in Arctic Blue with the mesh alloys, blue leather seats and no rear spoiler. Impressions: A barge. Smells like an old car. The long bonnet look means the windscreen is in your face. The low roof means you sit on the floor with the seat reclined to get enough headroom. The exhaust is too quiet, so the soundtrack is mostly a bunch of mechanical whinings and grindings and miscellaneous grumbling and wheezing. Plans: Fix stuff, fix more stuff, fit soundz, work on making it better to drive and subtly hot it up enough that classic car snobs disapprove of me. Oh the fun I'll have. Discussion: https://oldschool.co.nz/index.php?/topic/58671-thousand-dollar-supercars-1988-jaguar-xj-s-36/

Especially if you paint the whole car black and call it the Deceased Estate. (don't actually do that) From the NZTA:

Good to see you back, dropping half a build thread in one day! The digital dash caught my eye. I think it's better than the alternative of a bunch of those off-the-shelf analogue gauges, plus you get pretty lights and all of the geeky data... Manufacturer's product page if anyone's interested: http://aimsports.com/en/products/mxs-strada/index.htm You're replacing modgies with modgies? Kidding - I expect there are limited choices available when you need to be able to specify so much about the wheel. What's happening with the suspension, front brakes etc?

HighLUX: Yep. That's the price of lightweight construction - hit the kerb and even the roof gets just a little damaged. If I had some panelbeaters put the car on a chassis pulling machine, the chassis rail would probably pull right off. It was always going to take an accident (my fault or someone else's) to force me out of this car. Otherwise I'd still be inserting coins into it when I'm 90. V8Pete: My carbs are worth something because they're 40mm, but probably not my gearbox because 1700cc cars have the tallest gearing. Assuming anyone is still building race Alfas this old, I believe they covet the high ratio diffs from 1200cc Suds.

Hi! As your welcome to oldschool, I'm contractually obligated to reprimand you for posting in my project thread. We operate a system of separate discussion threads for each car, to make the project threads more readable. The discussion thread for my car is here: //oldschool.co.nz/index.php?/topic/21806-thousand-2150-dollar-supercars-1988-alfa-romeo-33-17qv/ Going back to your post, I think what you mean is, stop being slack and post some updates! It has been over two years! Unfortunately I have a sad update. I have killed the invisible supercar. Although it had been getting a bit sick (low compression on one cylinder, possibly using coolant), I was merrily patching it up and racing it around as always, windows down + engine braking just to listen to the exhaust crackle, the perfect andidote to a diesel company car. One night a few months ago, I was running late for band practice, Alfa loaded up with gear, sitting in a queue to turn right at the Mt Eden Village lights. It was raining and I still hadn't got through after 3 light phases. Lights go green and the idiot ahead of me in a purple Mirage Dingo is going straight through at 1kph. Before he costs me my right turn, I pull around him and floor it. Wheels spin up, turn is sharper than usual because I've pulled around the Dingo. Front end doesn't want to bite sufficiently (overinflated tyres / lowered suspension / rain / etc) even though I'm trying to pulse the brakes. Bam, outside front wheel hits the high kerb. The wheel was close enough to parallel that the rim hit and the impact buckled a suspension arm: That would be an easy fix, but enough of the impact got transferred to the chassis that I buckled the floorpan: I also bent the front chassis rail: From underneath you can see the inner and outer sections of the rail have come unstitched: http://www.axys.co.nz/ben/alfa33/crash/chassis rail bottom 1.jpg I've generally buckled the car just enough that the bonnet and front passenger door don't close nicely, the dash is pushed up in the middle and even the roof has a small ripple. Public enemy #1, Fishtail Fred, came to get me and we borrowed Cam's trailer to get the Alfa back home. It sits forlornly outside my house looking intact from a distance except for the wheel pushed back in the arch. But although I've thrown this car a lot of lifelines over the last 14 years, it's probably time to stop now. Home renovations mean I'm busy, poor and have no garage space, but the worst of the renovation work is done. Having understeered this poor car into the kerb like a complete doofus, I will probably unceremoniously offload its remains and eventually put another ridiculous vehicle on the mortgage.