Zebra Dudes 1976 Ford Gran Torino

[The Dude]

How many good stories begin with "well I was a little bit drunk" ?

A couple of Xmas ago me and my best mate had a couple of beers, then several more, then we started on the shots, I'm not sure what happened, but I clearly remember the talk getting around to cars I've never owned "Gran Torino!" I spouted, "loved Starsky and Hutch as a kid always wanted one never had one", my best mate asked why? we got onto ebay, I dont remember anything else, nothing.

 

In the morning I found out I had won a 1976 Ford Gran Torino in Red, crap I thought, I cant afford this!

I was wrong, Very wrong.

It turns out I had won a four door Gran Torino in Denver Colorado for the extremely expensive sum of $650, it didn't run and was fully illegal, Damn it I thought, payed the money and put it into storage in a bit of a huff, $50 a month in Denver.

 

Three months later, I was sent a link to an incredible auction going on in Nebraska, 500 cars all from 1950-1985 200 of them Brand new, no reserve scrap starting price.

I gotta go i thought, I called NZ Hot Rodder, lined up a story and then called a mate in the UK, "pack ya bags for the 1st Sept, we're off on a road trip" where? he said, "across America" I replied. " great, what are we driving?" Ive got that sorted I replied. $50 later the Torino was in a garage getting its dizzy replaced, a couple of ball joints and a quick service, and ready to roll she was.

 

I flew into Denver, jumped off the Plane grabbed a cab to the storage yard, and there in the corner sat a dejected looking Torino, she fired up first time and we roared out of the car park tyres blazing Starsky style.

 

 

 

[The Dude]

Project discussion here.

 

Do you want me to continue the story, or get into the nitty gritty of decrepit Torino ownership?

 

//oldschool.co.nz/index.php?/topic/46118-zebra-dudes-1976-ford-gran-torino/

[The Dude]

I shot back to the Hotel where my best mate from the Uk had just arrived, "lets get food and some beers?" he suggested, "great idea" I replied we Jumped into the Torino and laid rubber out of the hotel "Faaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkk" he yelled as we slewed out into the traffic fishtailing wildly, "Chill out this is how all the cops on the edge drove them" I replied cutting off a surprised Prius as I blew a red light.

I decided wisely it was time to bring things down to a slightly more sedate pace after jumping the curb at the next turn and destroying someones wheely bin.

 

"This mother does not have any normal handling attributes at all I suggested, it understeers, and oversteers without any predictability, there is no power, and the brakes are laughable, how didn't Starsky and Hutch die in every car chase?"

"Because they were fictional characters with a highly paid stunt team and modified cars, you Welsh fool" replied Watton loosening his death grip on the dash"

"ah ok right, ok well this needs to last till LA anyhow, I'll take it easy" I said briefly seeing the Oil light flicker on the dash, did I just imagine that I wondered?

 

So the next morning we arose, hangovers and jetlag in tow and decided to get the car checked out and given a more thorough service, "No worries said the affiable garage man, I'll take a look and sort it out, why don't you guys pop down to the bar down the road, where there is the best view in Colorado, come back at 4:30".

" Great ,I replied see ya then"

"Errrrrrrr this is a terrible idea" said Watton, for once being the voice of reason "we cannot sit in a bar for 5 hours and drive home that's insane"

The Bar came into view, and yep unsurprisingly Twin Peaks was a strip club.

"Awesome!" exclaimed  Watton, pushing me out of the way and shoving his way through the door

I don't think I need to draw a picture of the next few hours, I discovered a cider called "Angry Orchard" (honestly its just insanity juice!) renewed my friendship with Southern Comfort and made a new friend of a stripper called Brandy.

All to soon it was time to pick up the car.

 

"Do you think they will actually give us the car?" said Watton unsteadily as he picked his path very carefully across the road

"What? I stumbled, why the Hell wouldn't they?"

"Ummm you might be drunk, I'm definitely drunk?"

"They sent us to a strip club for 5 hours, what did they think would happen?, its not freeking domino's is it?"

"ok, I wont speak, you, you just make it so!"

"Sweet as Brother, just trust me, I'm sure it'll be fine"

 

As soon as I got to the garage, I felt awesome, rolled on in there, charmed the dude, grabbed the keys paid the bill, jumped in the car and rolled out.

"Nice one said Watton , we pulled that off nicely"

"Farrrrrrrrrk" I said as my foot slipped off the brake and we bumped over the curb

Unfortunately this didn't really leave me with too many choices, There was a steep slope directly behind the kerb to the main road. so I could

1. Brake now and pray that there was enough traction on the grass to drive the Torino back on the road.

2. Put my foot on the gas, and pray that I'd make it down the slope backwards,and hope I made it to the road and didn't hit anything or the huge overhang didn't beach us on the kerb.

I choose option 2 I figured the weight of the Torino would get us stuck trying to drive out, I don't think I'll ever forget the look of shock on the dude's face as we sailed backwards over the kerb and down the bank, Watton nearly freaked, and then burst out laughing as we made the main road.

"Shortcut!", I yelled out of the window as I powered the old girl in a tight smoking U turn off down the road to the hotel.

 

"Lets leave for Aspen early in the morning I said, I feel the need to get on the road and tear up some miles"

Watton Grinned, and the plan was set!

 

 

[The Dude]

So I just thought you might like to see this, this is the only Torino ever entered into European Sports car racing, this is the 1976 Le Mans. Yep that really is a Torino going round a Porsche on the inside, note the look of shock and horror on the Porsche drivers face

[The Dude]

So some actual news, I have just aquired a set of 15x 10.5 Dan Gurney GT40 Slot mags (real Magnesium!) with the most obscene dish ever (think two bic lighters end to end!) for the rear of the old girl and a set of 14x7 Tridents for the front, shackles, airshocks and Rake insanity beckons.

Photo's soon!!!

 

Oh and more story too!!!

[The Dude]

So early the next morning, large hangover in tow we set off for the sites of Aspen.

I immediately pulled out of the Hotel and set off at a good pace.

 

"AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!" shouts Watton

"What? Whats up? calm down"

"Arrrrggggggghhh!!!"

"Are you having a heart attack?"

"WRONG"

"What? Whats Wrong"

"WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!"

"FAAAAARRRRRRKKKK!"

I quickly swerved across the median and back to the correct side of the road, narrowly avoiding spinning out and sending a Geo Metro to the promised land.

"Shit I said, maybe I should write something on the dash to stop that happening again?"

"No just don't do it again" Watton said starting to fix himself a Gin and Tonic

"bit early for that isn't it?"

"There might not be a later, the way you drive. and anyway if you don't want one dont have one!"

"Well I didn't say that! no need to be testy!"

 

Soon we were winding our hay out of the scrub and up into the hills, the Torino muttering away and sucking down gas like Kim Dot Com at a cream bun festival.

 

Aspen, as you might have heard was home to one of the greatest writers ever, father of Gonzo Journalism Hunter S Thompson, and after reading his novels for years,

I was unsure quite what to expect, the scenary and some of the towns on the way there were giving no clues

 

We eventually pulled into one of the many gas stations we would need to suck dry to complete our journey.

"Thank god for that said Watton, we're out of Lemons and Limes"

He went in to pay and get us some kind of food, when I say "some kind of food" thats exactly what I mean, food in America can in no way be confused with food everywhere else, it seemed to be made of either

1) Sugar to send you in to some kind of diabetic coma, where you become lazy and delireous as you try to keep your eyes open.

2) Caffine to send me straight to the moon and Back, I would begin to shake and then go off on super fast conversation with mostly myself, whilst driving fast and recklessly enough to watch Wattons fingers turn White as he gripped the dash.

3) Mystery Meat, I don't know what it is, the packaging doesnt know what it is, it sort of smells like meatish but tastes uncomfortably like a toasted slipper, and it has a sell by date 25 years from now.

4) Cardboard, no taste, no texture, no real colour, this will be the healthy option.

5) Man made brightly coloured e numbers, with things like Grape drink (contains no Grapes!) Space waffles (e221 e224 e443 e544 etc!) Aspestos puffs (I honestly dont know what they were made of) these were so disgusting even the Grape drink couldn't wash them down. Ok I lied about the name but that's what we called them!

 

I was filling up the car with go juice. I was startled when the first flake of snow dropped onto my nose, oh oh! I thought franticly scanning the sky, we are in a rear wheel drive auto v8, with summer tyres and it looks like snow, this is in no way good.

We both jumped back in the car, I looked at Watton now in the drivers seat and said.

"I don't want to worry you, but its starting to snow, we dont really have any warm clothes, we are in a car blatently not designed for any wintery occurence, apart from the fact its Red and they will be able to find it easily to recover our bodies when the snow melts in Spring"

"If you think thats bad" said Watton punching the Accelerator and fishtailing us out of the Gas station

"They didn't even have any fucking Lemons either"

(A grim and Lemonless Watton floors it to out run the aproaching storm!)

 

[The Dude]

Man super excitingly, I just won a fully referbished set of wheels for The Torino too!!!!!!!

And from Detroit Vintage Wheels no less!!!!!

How Cool is that?

https://www.facebook.com/detroit.vintage.wheels.giveaway?fref=photo