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  1. The BSA Dandy. Possibly the worst bike ever built, a massive failure and rightfully despised as a prime example of shoddy engineering, poor build quality, penny-pinching design, and failing to address known issues. Few in number, gross, and only admired by weirdos. I've got 3 of em... 1 complete blue and red one, suitable for restoration/unreliable 2-smoke pesting. 1 green thing with most bits, incl engine, suitable for a frankenbuild. 1 grey frame, mostly there, suitable for parts. So tentative plan is to restore the good'un (painted similar to above), bang a jappa-knees engine in one, and make an electric one. All 3 to be used on one plate, if things ever get that far. (Cant be bothered getting my good one out for pics so here is some background and pics of what they should look like): What is the Dandy? The 70cc Dandy ‘scooterette’ was originally a unit construction, 45x44mm two-stroke single, riding on 15in wheels. It included the scooter virtues of weather protection, some concealed mechanicals – the carburettor was out of sight behind a slotted cover in the crankcase – and a step-through frame. It was female-friendly, and BSA’s publicity invariably featured lady riders in skirts. Its many ingenious features for novices included (to spare footwear) a hand starting lever down on the left, but after a journalist broke a prototype, production models featured a left-side kickstarter. For compactness, the rear swinging-fork was attached to the backward-facing, horizontal engine unit. Brackets joined the crankcase to the right fork’s pivot position on the pressed steel frame, with the single cylinder forming part of that fork. On the nearside, a further steel pressing mounted on the gearbox formed the left fork arm. The front forks were leading link, and the brakes four-inch front and rear. The gearchange was equally innovative, featuring a two-speed pre-selector. Turning the left twistgrip towards you for first, as shown on a metal indicator next to the grip, and nothing happened until you pulled in the clutch, and released it to move away. For second you twisted the grip all the way forward and repeated the procedure, with neutral in the middle. Electrics were via a flywheel mag located in the middle of the crankcase, along with the points. The Dandy weighed in at 115lbs, claimed 130-plus mpg, and had a top speed on test of 33mph. What went wrong? The original design specified a heat-dissipating alloy cylinder with a chrome bore, but the production barrel became cast iron, and hot running meant that piston seizures were far from unknown. However, the real problem was the buried points. To get at them (a common maintenance task in the 50s) you had to remove the rear shocks, the electrical connections and the clutch. Then the bike wouldn't stand up, so you had to 'hang it from the rafters'. On the clutch there’s a set of fingers that engage with the flywheel. You had to separate them and move the flywheel to get at the points. 'It’s a half-day job. The desire to meet advertised costs also meant shortcuts were made (the stand is a bit of bent wire) and none of the known issues were addressed. The concept was sound, but it took the Japanese to do things properly a decade or so later where they revolutionised personal transport and sold millions of small, reliable, cheap runabouts... [TLDR] a good idea, ahead of its time, fucked up by British engineering and cost cutting, so essentially a bloody terrible thing, possibly the worst bike ever built by Britain, hence the attraction...
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