Hayholes mum

You might be a teacher, but I'll teach you a thing:

You'll need a foreskin of leather to come near my ring.

I've had snakes, and I've had a hoon on a beaver,

For 30 bucks I'll tap a golden retriever.

You can jizz on my hair instead of your tummy,

If you think you can handle HAYHOLES MUMMY.

Those kids of yours will be in for a shock,

When you come to school on Monday with a cast on your cock.

Holy shit this makes me lol,

I'll take all you boys in any hole.

This Felix cat seems really hot,

I bet I can take all that he's got.

Today I saw Big Valve and honked my horn,

(He's allowed in my butt to hunt for corn).

The way you kids flirt really cracks me up,

I'll make a movie: 'Hayholes Mum... One Cup'.

Holy shit. your out a control valve buddy,

I don't wear a teddy, I'm in the nuddy.

I don't do fingers, but I'll do a rubber mallet.

I once did wood, but got a splinter ( was from a pallet).

But enough about me, what about the flying brick?

I don't know who she is, but her poetry wets my mick.

I don't think seedy Ellen Can handle the pace of us poetry cats

I think I'll subcontract big valve to rape him at wagnats.

I have so many questions

Please submit all questions in poetry form.

Holy shit nigger, how can I top that?

Your hilarious rhymes make my lady bone phat,

Hope my son doesn't see this, he'll be jealous as fuck,

Cause my pantys are full of some lady glue muck.

Ive taken it too far, I have myself to blame,

But when your snake is inside me...

Its no longer tame.

Shit big valve, you're making me wet,

People must think I haven't finished this yet,

You know its all finished, we had fun by the sea,

I took your bearded meat dagger... I took it with glee.

I must get round to taking some photos of my finished machine,

But until then I'll keep rubbing my bean.

There was a boy with a sausage pipe on his bike.

He had no vagina so must not be a dyke.

Of his sexuality he was in great doubt,

So he rode to Gays Knob to check that shit out.

After a very long night of rectal destruction

Russell arrived back home with some clear instruction...

Dont walk through central park or you'll get raped by men,

And never run a sausage pipe again.

I once had a vintage bike that had dead plates and wasn't in the system, had to deal with some old cunt from Plimmerton who was the area rep for the vintage car club... Knew absolutely nothing about bikes, was just into shithouse wooden wheeled cars.

Ended up being such a shit fight. I had to prove what year the bike was, all my info regarding chassis numbers/dates was from the internet (pretty sure he didn't know what the internet was), so he didn't believe it. Oh.. And I was only allowed to contact him between 8 and 9pm on weekdays.

In the end, it became so difficult that I just sold the stupid fucken bike.

Dont let this story put you off in anyway, but be warned.. If you have to deal with some old cunt from plimmerton, just stay home and cut your own dick off and eat it, it will be much easier and less stressful.

Just like everything though, if you get in touch with the right person who actually gives a shit, these tasks can go very smoothly.

CDL doesn't have a motorbike,

Think he's more suited to a VdoubleU trike.

He bullies the real men because he's so jelly,

Laying back in his bus shooting loads on his belly.

If only he had the time, a bike would be great,

But he's far too busy.... Thumbing prostate.

Please note:

All rebuttal must be in poetry form, or will not be accepted.

BWT did some mean as flexing for Guy Martin... Pretty intimidating shit. I'm sure Russell-russell-trouser-muscle will put up a picture of that.

I found this cum-dumpter in the spa bath at Wanganui, she was a real dirty slag and was surprisingly good at twerking.

Fuck i love guys ! Can't wait to come all over Wellington dudes And party with other small dicked dudes on datura

GROSS!!!!!

Shit... Here's anther flying yellow Chappy, one careful fuckwit owner.

Looks fucken rad nigz!!!!!

Big valve rode around the bays,

He fended off the dudes and gays,

He picked up bishes and rode them home,

Then used their panties to polish chrome.

I think I'm going to ship my pants.

Why have you hung all your scrap metal up? Is it worth more if its properly dry?

Filling in the blanks, sweet write up Manu! Crikey, wouldn't have put that strap-on anywhere near my mouth, had I known its history.

Epic day.

Head to the doctor on Monday and get your teeth tested for AIDS. I bet ten bucks it comes back positive.

My son and I are staying at BKs Magnolia Motor Lodge, also with Blinky Bill and B.W.T. it will be a gang bang. I think they might be totally booked, Ed and Deb also have a room, you could grease up to them for a bed/gang bang.

Use my butthole for the first load

How much for the hooker in the mobility scooter? I'll pay extra if she is sans teeth.

Gay is an understatement. Dudes are magnetized to bikes with sausages for muffs.

FUCK YOU CUNTS.

Perfect. I have two spare ones you can have.