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Hayholes Mums Snake Rider.


Hayholes mum

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It's like a rap battle from Los Angeles

I touch you sensually and you get bum wees

Your love mound was as prickly as a Mojave cactus

But we'll meet up again and continue to practise

You had two panniers hanging from your back tube

One full of condoms and the other of lube

Writing this ditty has moistened my pants

I've gotta go now, cos it's attracting the ants

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Holy shit nigger, how can I top that?

Your hilarious rhymes make my lady bone phat,

Hope my son doesn't see this, he'll be jealous as fuck,

Cause my pantys are full of some lady glue muck.

Ive taken it too far, I have myself to blame,

But when your snake is inside me...

Its no longer tame.

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It's about time to start this party

It's Sunday night and my gruts are sharty

Flyingbrick's joined the club and he's at the ready

Hayholes mum's lubing up and she's in her teddy

I thought about you at quarter past six

I trimmed my pubes and sucked a Vicks

I thought about you at half past seven

I sat on the washer while the spin was a revvin'

Now I'm thinking about you and it's half past eight

I'm using kitchen tongs to mass ter bate

I hear you can fit 9 fingers you your bum

Flyingbrick's sitting back enjoying his rum

Seedy Al thinks that we're a pack of fools

He won't be laughing when we pick the peanuts from his stool

Sunday night never was this funny

Hayholes mum is my playboy bunny

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My minds gone numb

Trying to figure out if 9 fingers include thumb.

Imagine the pain and bunghole diameter gain, tears would remain long after the bedsheet stain.

Plunging into her drain would fly me insane, nine fingers of fury to tame while she screams my name on a plane.

We could make it a game!

Or are you insane?

9 fingers could Mame so be careful what you claim as mummy told me not all buttholes are the same.

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Holy shit. your out a control valve buddy,

I don't wear a teddy, I'm in the nuddy.

I don't do fingers, but I'll do a rubber mallet.

I once did wood, but got a splinter ( was from a pallet).

But enough about me, what about the flying brick?

I don't know who she is, but her poetry wets my mick.

I don't think seedy Ellen Can handle the pace of us poetry cats

I think I'll subcontract big valve to rape him at wagnats.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just got back from crossfit and I did a hundred burpees

Hayholes Mum's sexing dudes and spreading herpes

Flyingbrick's twerking and he looks like Miley

He's at the Cossie club making old men smiley

Hayhole's a cross dresser and he cruises for penis

It's more like Uranus, but his stage name's Venus

Brick, Mum and Hayhole should meet up soon

Hayhole holds mum's legs while Brick has a hoon

Ones got a bike with seating full of cunt

Ones got a ute with a Transam on the front

Ones got a DX made of rust and low

But they all love the cock and giving it a blow

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all this talk of mother Hay Holes Bum

has made both my vision blur and brain go numb

 

talking of sliding her snakes into a tube

makes me think of riding her with yoghurt as lube

 

Yoghurt is good for dealing with thrush

if I slip her $5 I wont have to rush

 

Big valve will keep $3 - he is her pimp

To get rid of the blowflies he sprays her with dimp

 

Im hoping this poem reaches her in time

especially since tomorrow is St Valentines

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Holy shit this makes me lol,

I'll take all you boys in any hole.

This Felix cat seems really hot,

I bet I can take all that he's got.

Today I saw Big Valve and honked my horn,

(He's allowed in my butt to hunt for corn).

The way you kids flirt really cracks me up,

I'll make a movie: 'Hayholes Mum... One Cup'.

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Hayholes Mum  .. one cup

that is a meal we all could sup..

 

Im sitting here pulling my tail

making my manly bits hard as a nail

 

It is sunday morning, I should be at mass

Instead Im fapping off over this lass

 

Maybe big buddy will share some of his corn

Thinking about it is better than porn

 

Next saturday Im turning forty

Come to me house, lets be really naughty

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this reminds me of seeing you chaps on thursday, always a pleasure.

kinda explains why you were clad in studded leather..

 

maybe it helps drifting that falcon at max speed

or is it easy to clean when you've OD'd on human seed?

 

BVB, watch out for Korn when you're searching for corn,

i hear they were lost in hay's mum while fishing prawns

 

 

so beware, the southern seas have nothing on he,

for hayholes mum swallows daily such men of the sea!

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hayholes mum, where have you been

your lack of content is rather mean

 

my whiskers are long, and involuntary twitch

every time I think of fisting you bitch

 

I have a bell and a shiny collar

I want to stick a chilli in your ass and make you hollar

 

I want to hear about your bi cycle trips

Im whacking so hard, my foreskin just ripped

 

It wont stop bleeding, I could use blood as lube

as i gently work my way up your tube..

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Holy crap crap

Was that a poem or a rap?

I thought you were a teacher?

A rule and moralaty preacher

Instead I see you swear and share talk of the kinky stuff you wear.

Oh, what if the kids were to hear!

Oh the dispear!

The shame you'd have to bare,

The parents would all stare.

It'd be a 'mare to repair!

The stress would lose you hair.

So,

Don't keep the children near

Or let them see your gear

Dont touch little bobby on his rear

Mmmmn, OK do whatever I don't care.

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You might be a teacher, but I'll teach you a thing:

You'll need a foreskin of leather to come near my ring.

I've had snakes, and I've had a hoon on a beaver,

For 30 bucks I'll tap a golden retriever.

You can jizz on my hair instead of your tummy,

If you think you can handle HAYHOLES MUMMY.

Those kids of yours will be in for a shock,

When you come to school on Monday with a cast on your cock.

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